Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
