so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
