the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
