if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize