STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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