I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
