literally had 100 drinks last night.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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