I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
