dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
