i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
