the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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