i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
