Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
