i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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