I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
