There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Randomize
