I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
