So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You are a genius and a whore.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
