Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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