I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
