Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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