I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
