Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
