the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
