I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
