turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm getting married
To pizza
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize