would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i dont even know how to be here
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she told me i tasted like america
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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