I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
MIDGETS
????
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
