I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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