i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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