there were more penises there than on chat roulette
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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