We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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