He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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