we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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