dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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