last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the condom got lost in my hair
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
