Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
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I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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