Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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