I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i came on her dog
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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