high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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