what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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