Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
