The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
