the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
