She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you will always have a special place in my vag
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
