Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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