Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
