Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize