Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
