So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
