You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
