ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
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I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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