FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
